Why Do We Hold On to Ambivalent Relationships?
The Psychology of Chasing Impossible Love
You’re deeply drawn to someone who sends mixed signals—one moment warm and engaging, the next distant and unavailable.
The uncertainty is maddening, yet instead of walking away, you find yourself clinging even harder, analyzing every word, every interaction, searching for signs of hope. You hold onto the possibility, even when reality suggests otherwise.
Why do we do this?
Why does unrequited or inconsistent affection keep us so magnetized?
At the heart of this experience is a fundamental truth: pursuing impossible love doesn’t make us irrational.
It makes us human.
The Seductive Power of Ambivalence
One of the paradoxes of human attraction is that the more uncertain a person’s affection is, the more invested we often become. Studies in psychology suggest that intermittent reinforcement—receiving affection unpredictably—can be one of the most powerful forms of conditioning.
Much like a gambler continuously pulling the lever of a slot machine in hopes of a payout, we remain emotionally ho…