I’ve been single for a while now, and I used to think that meant I was supposed to feel lonely. But the more time I’ve spent alone, the more I’ve realized that solitude isn’t something to run from—it’s something to embrace.
I love what you said about loneliness being a signal, not an enemy. There were times when I used to fill my days with distractions just to avoid that feeling, but now I actually sit with it, and it’s helped me understand myself in ways I never did before. I started going to the gym, taking myself out to dinner, reading more, and even picking up new skills—not because I had to, but because I genuinely wanted to enjoy my own company.
And you’re right—comparison is a trap. Social media makes it seem like everyone is coupled up and happy, but I’ve learned that happiness isn’t about whether or not you have a partner—it’s about how full your life feels on its own. I’d rather be alone and thriving than in the wrong relationship just to fill a void.
Thanks for this post—it’s a great reminder that being single isn’t a waiting period. It’s an opportunity.
I tell a particular loved one around me this all the time. This person in particular is often worried about me. This person is frequently on the phone (call) chatting or visiting in person with people. They don’t know, imo, how to be alone. Its hard to not tell them when they come to me and say I am worried about you that you are alone, that they are projecting - they are almost always alone when they confront me. coincidence? probably not. I love and am joyous in my solitude, reading a book, exercising, meditating or watching a documentary (I replaced all “netflix” TV watching with documentaries, now I don’t have to stop watching TV). It’s easier to replace a habit than it is to eliminate one. I enjoy watching TV because I almost always turned on, cognitively speaking. Now documentaries fill that slot. Solitude and sitting with yourself is a lost art in western culture, I embrace it. It makes the seldom moments I am with people so much more enjoyable. I value those visits so much more.
Oh do I resonate with all this! I'll be posting my take on this very subject tomorrow. THANK YOU for your thoughts and insight. Every little bit helps.
I’ve been single for a while now, and I used to think that meant I was supposed to feel lonely. But the more time I’ve spent alone, the more I’ve realized that solitude isn’t something to run from—it’s something to embrace.
I love what you said about loneliness being a signal, not an enemy. There were times when I used to fill my days with distractions just to avoid that feeling, but now I actually sit with it, and it’s helped me understand myself in ways I never did before. I started going to the gym, taking myself out to dinner, reading more, and even picking up new skills—not because I had to, but because I genuinely wanted to enjoy my own company.
And you’re right—comparison is a trap. Social media makes it seem like everyone is coupled up and happy, but I’ve learned that happiness isn’t about whether or not you have a partner—it’s about how full your life feels on its own. I’d rather be alone and thriving than in the wrong relationship just to fill a void.
Thanks for this post—it’s a great reminder that being single isn’t a waiting period. It’s an opportunity.
I tell a particular loved one around me this all the time. This person in particular is often worried about me. This person is frequently on the phone (call) chatting or visiting in person with people. They don’t know, imo, how to be alone. Its hard to not tell them when they come to me and say I am worried about you that you are alone, that they are projecting - they are almost always alone when they confront me. coincidence? probably not. I love and am joyous in my solitude, reading a book, exercising, meditating or watching a documentary (I replaced all “netflix” TV watching with documentaries, now I don’t have to stop watching TV). It’s easier to replace a habit than it is to eliminate one. I enjoy watching TV because I almost always turned on, cognitively speaking. Now documentaries fill that slot. Solitude and sitting with yourself is a lost art in western culture, I embrace it. It makes the seldom moments I am with people so much more enjoyable. I value those visits so much more.
Oh do I resonate with all this! I'll be posting my take on this very subject tomorrow. THANK YOU for your thoughts and insight. Every little bit helps.
Thank you for this, it changed my mind.
To embrace contemplation, meditation, and reflection are so important in this rapidly-moving world~